Tag Archives: conversation

What is your opinion…and why do we care?

By Jim Selman | Bio

Someone said to me in a meeting yesterday that there are a billion blogs. The number seemed high, so I did what we all do these days. I went to Google and in about 30 seconds of looking at “How many Blogs are there”, I was assured there are closer to 100 million, with about 175 thousand new ones being created every day. So while the billion estimate was a bit exaggerated, it is obvious that there are a LOT of blogs.

This got me thinking: why so many? A blog is basically

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7 Reasons Why Elders Make Great Lovers (and have better sex)

By Jim Selman | Bio

There is an old joke that says, “Sex after 60 is better than ever, but the mounting and dismounting aren’t so pretty.” If you’re laughing, you know what I’m talking about. If not, you’re still young enough to have something to look forward to. I attended a conference recently featuring Steve Pavlina, the number one blogger on personal development. The topic was about expanding traffic to your blog and one of his ideas was to write about something ‘timeless’, something that lots of people have in common and that breaks the mold of everyone’s expectations. Well, my writing has been about transforming our notions of growing older and to encourage intergenerational dialogue, so what better topic to muse on than SEX.

I know it’s kind of weird to think about our parents and grandparents ‘doing it’, but the fact is that they do. We just tend to avoid discussing that it happens among our Elders. While Elders are usually older than we are, that’s not always the case. In some cultures, the young are the Elders, since they are more connected to what is important to the community than the old. As I have been saying on this blog for the last few years, we need to get real and be open across

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Dreaming of a Dark Christmas

By Jim Selman | Bio

I am one of the folks who love Christmas. I am not particularly sentimental, nor am I into elaborate decorating or gift-giving. I just like the music and the general shift in mood that seems to come with the season. I recognize, however, that not everyone is ‘happy’ around Christmas time. This is the season for lots of ‘relapses’ in 12-Step programs, a ‘blip’ in suicides, and (of course) the usual problems associated with too many parties and too much alcohol. Whatever the reasons, there is definitely a dark side to Christmas.

As I’ve grown older, I see more clearly how difficult this time of year can be for many people. For many families, Christmas is about children and ‘Baby Jesus’. But for some, there is a sense of failure and defeat in not having ‘enough’ to participate in the economic gift-giving juggernaut: for others, a kind of ‘reactivation’ associated with family reunions and memories of Christmas past. Some experience a kind of generic depression associated with too many people

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The Medium is the Message

By Jim Selman | Bio

Forty-five years ago Marshall McLuhan coined the phrase “the medium is the message”. I wonder what he would have made of today’s media-on-steroids. Someone sent me a fascinating YouTube piece called “Social Media in Plain English” , which was followed up with a dramatic piece on the extraordinary impact of all that is going on in the Social Media Revolution. It includes a new term I had never seen before: socialnomics. It’s getting easier and easier to feel ignorant and out of touch.

The general consensus is that the phenomenon of social networking/social media is as potentially revolutionary as the Industrial Revolution. Whether this is hyperbole or turns out to be fact will remain a question for history. What is a fact is that the medium is changing faster and in more dramatic ways than many of us can keep up with. I was just getting comfortable with email, blogging and my own websites. And now, almost overnight it seems, I am confronted with Twitter

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Showing Up for Those We Care For

By Kevin Brown | Bio

There was a time when ‘showing up’ for a meeting, an appointment, or a family event left me thinking about being on time, what I must remember to bring, or what I should wear. Increasingly though, I have been thinking about how I ‘show up’ in conversation with the people I interact with. I am talking about conversations with my work colleagues, fellow churchgoers, friends, extended family members, my son, my wife, and even with my God. When I began to consider how I show up for others in conversation, I realized just how little attention I was giving to being responsible in my conversations.

I have come to realize that much of the way in which I show up in conversation has more to do with my very active ego than with intentional thought on my part. I do not consider myself an authority on the subject of Ego, but it seems to be a tireless worker. My ego is quick to form a conclusion about the other persons’ character, their mannerisms, attire, language and intellect (and pretty much anything) for my ready access. With little or no effort on my part, a conclusion

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Care for the Caregiver – Part 2

By Kevin Brown | Bio

In last week’s post, I discussed how care for family Caregivers, especially when the provision of care occurs over prolonged periods, can leave the Caregiver drained of energy and in need of care themselves. I noted that Caregivers should endeavor to maintain their own health, keep up their social network, stay involved with family and share the caregiving. One gentlemen responded with appreciation for the post, but also noted that for him (and perhaps

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The Little Voice

By Jim Selman | Bio

For no particular reason, today I am more conscious than normal of my ‘little voice’—you know the conversation in our heads. I talk about this phenomenon a lot in my work. People laugh when I challenge the conventional view that they can control it: “Try to turn it off” or “Don’t think about what I am about to say”. Then I suggest that this conversation we are always having, what we call thinking, is in fact an endless stream of thoughts that may or may not be

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Worrying

By Shae Hadden | Bio

It’s difficult these days to not worry about something—what with the economic crisis, pollution, climate change, species extinction, resource depletion and the melting polar ice caps, not to mention the innumerable human conflicts on the planet. Many of our conversations revolve around one or another of these topics, or at least are impacted by the larger global issues we all are facing. And much of what I’m hearing in what people are saying is that they are ‘worried’

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Family Conversation

By Jim Selman | Bio

Last evening we were having a lively family conversation about life in general and Eldering in particular. We talked about whether there is, in fact, a ‘generational divide’ and, if so, what can we say about it. To my surprise, my children and my son’s girlfriend all felt that there was less of a divide in the minds of people their age than in the minds of people my age. I asked the question, “What do young men and women talk to each other about that you would be reluctant

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