Tag Archives: acceptance

The Next 10 Years

EI 1006

Another year. This year’s resolutions looked pretty much the same as last year and the year before that so I’ve resolved to stop making New Year’s resolutions. Nonetheless the year-end (or beginning) is a time that calls for taking stock and reflecting on the past and the future. This year the big questions for me have to do with the next 10 years.

I have laughed a lot about how easily I can fall into making just about anything significant. I even made

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How Are You Listening?

By Ana Lepri

There is a humorous 1-1/2 minute video called Masi, Me Tiro which is winning awards around the world. It has inspired me to reflect on how we listen to others. The characters demonstrate that our listening is often filtered through our personal judgments and preconceptions of others. This filtering limits our ability to listen. We find ourselves reacting to what’s being said and to who we think they are

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The Secret: Serenity AND Ambition

By Jim Selman | Bio

New Year’s is a time to reflect and remember. I was reviewing some old ‘resolutions’ and came upon one that has served me well over the years. It may be one of the most useful and relevant bits of wisdom I have to share with people.

“The important thing is to choose what we have and give up our attachment to what we don’t have—so we can have the space to create our dreams and manifest our intention.”

This says a lot and can boggle the mind a bit. Most of us think we are attached to the things we have, not the things we don’t have. This statement also challenges our commonsense notion of how we relate to what we do have—especially if you are thinking that what you have ‘is not enough’.&nbsp

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Mastery

By Jim Selman | Bio

Over the course of my lifetime, I have heard many  ‘bottom-line’ bits of wisdom. For example, “the key to happiness is loving what you do”.  Or, “at the end of the day, you can either resist life or surrender and live life on life’s terms”.  These kinds of nuggets are usually true and are certainly valid in a list of maxims and aphorisms for living. “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum is a great example of

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People and Places

By Jim Selman | Bio

I am coming to the conclusion that I am a travel-aholic.  Like most ‘isms’, travelaholism is the product of thinking we control something that we don’t control and, therefore, are controlled by it. One of the primary symptoms of an ‘ism’ is that we say we want to change something—usually our behavior—but continue in whatever pattern it is that we want to change. I protest that I am traveling too much, while at the same time filling in my calendar with airports and connections and hotels around the world. So far this year I have been to Buenos Aires, Geneva, Madrid, Sao Paulo, Paris, Amsterdam and am on my way to Tanzania before leaving for New Zealand, the Ukraine and New York City. While this may sound exotic, I rarely have time to fully appreciate the uniqueness of these far-flung locations.

It is also true that I love my work and am very happy and engaged when I am speaking with people in different cultures. The more I travel to different parts of the world, the more I appreciate that the ‘human family’ are pretty much all in the same conversations and have the same concerns. While the languages and the scenery may vary, we are more alike than we are different.

I am also always a little amazed by how informed and current people are about events and politics

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Bag Lady

By Jim Selman | Bio

I was recording a podcast recently in response to the question of how ‘elders’ should be dealing with money these days given the current and projected economic mess. The woman I was speaking to was clearly ‘worried’ about her financial future. I started my response by sharing that over many years of coaching I sometimes chuckle when speaking with women because they all seem to have a generic fear of becoming a ‘bag lady’. There was an interesting article in the Toronto Globe and Mail in December titled, “Why women look in the mirror and a bag lady looks back”. It seems this archetype pervades a lot of women’s deepest fears of failure and becoming destitute.

To be sure it isn’t funny if it happens; however, for the vast majority of women this isn’t going to happen. Yet the fear of it lingers on. My response to the question was that, while I have no particular expertise in money management, I do have something to say about how we relate to money—however much we may have or not have. People should consult qualified financial advisors at as young an age as possible and responsibly invest in their financial future.

With respect

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Resignation

By Jim Selman | Bio

I have said many times that I view one of the biggest threats to our way of life (and at least the medium-term future) is widespread and institutionalized =&0=&. Resignation is a mood that most of us have experienced and many are experiencing today. It is a worldview devoid of possibility. It is the perspective that ‘nothing can be done’ and ‘nothing will really make a difference’. It is giving up, but in a way that justifies and rationalizes that giving up is the rational and reasonable thing to do. The benefit of resignation is that we can stop thinking or struggling.

There is a difference between true ‘acceptance of those things I cannot change’ and resignation. Resignation is not a choice; it is a succumbing to the circumstances and buying into a ‘no possibility’ scenario. I was sitting next to a man last week from Mexico discussing the Mexican government’s campaign against drug cartels. He assured me that all the effort and all the lives that have been lost are meaningless and that corruption and organized crime are a permanent

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The Way It is

By Irene Noble 

My mother, my friend, died when she was 91. I miss her still, yet it was eighteen years ago.  She was a beautiful, elegant, stylish lady. More than that, she was forgiving, uncomplicated by her total honesty, always willing to learn new ways, new directions even though it might require a reversal of old assumptions.

When our family gathers around a Christmas tree, a dinner table or backyard barbeque, we usually bring in to our conversation the people who are no longer with us. We laugh at moments we remember, we cherish the time they were here and, sometimes, we mock the things they used to say. My mother summed up just about everything with these words, “That’s the way it is.” I can’t count the times we have all laughed and said in unison when

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Acceptance

I don’t think that age is personal. I know it feels like it is ‘me’ that is getting older, but I don’t experience myself as older. If anything, I experience my ‘self’ as being ‘better’ than at any time I can remember over the past 66 years. I feel more ‘alive’, more engaged, more present and more satisfied than ever. It is true that my body can’t run, wrestle or climb as easily as in the past. I make love more often than in the best

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Serene Ambition

I was talking with a fellow recently who was asking why this blog is called Serene Ambition™. He thought that the two words didn’t seem to go together. He could get ‘serenity’ and also understand ‘ambition’, but together they made no sense to him. In our normal way of relating to the world, you can have serenity (meaning inner peace, calmness, maybe even joy) or you can be ambitious (meaning committed to creating or accomplishing something in the future)—but not

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