 By Shae Hadden | Bio
In the busyness
of mid-life career pursuits, we can easily find ourselves letting
relationships slide. In no time at all, it seems years have gone by,
we’ve lost touch with dear friends from near and far, and forgotten the
lure of long-promised adventures we were going to share. A recent NY Times article about Elizabeth Goodyear,
a centenarian confined to her one-bedroom walk-up, has prompted me to
reconsider my relationship to others and what ‘community’ I want to
grow older in. [ Read More]
Written by admin at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
career
community
giving
receiving
relationship
By Shae Hadden | Bio
How often have you caught yourself ‘tuning out’ when listening to a
friend, family member or acquaintance? Or had someone point out that
you aren’t really listening to them? We
have all, at one time or another, done so—whether consciously or not.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Wisdom in Action
Tagged with:
boredom
listening
loneliness
love
relationship
By Shae HaddenBio
As the evenings get cooler and days shorter here, summer holidays wind
down. Everyone seems to be preparing for the start of September, and
looking forward to the last real weekend before things start up again.
Most everyone I talk with has enjoyed some of the summer outside with
family and friends, and I find myself experiencing a twinge of regret.
For me, the last few months have been a blur of work indoors in front
of the computer, interspersed with a few brief moments of relaxation.
This afternoon, I am acknowledging that I have ‘missed’ this summer
altogether in my efforts to fulfill as many of my commitments as
possible.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Personal Empowerment
Tagged with:
choice
commitment
perspective
relationship
time
I find myself in a strange space today. My husband and I filed divorce
papers jointly yesterday, and this morning I awoke to what seemed like
a different world. My regular yoga routine was awash in tears, and my
conversations likewise. I know that people get divorced all the time,
just as people die all the time. These two facts are different, but for
me today they seem very close to the same experience—loss. While
we have been living separately for over a year now, and I have been at
peace with how our relationship was evolving, today was special. Today
for the first time, I felt like I was truly ‘on my own’, without a
partner, without connection to another human being. I am adrift with my
thoughts and feelings and free (perhaps even forced) to look newly at
my world, other people and what I am doing with my life. ‘Present’
today in a new way, in this moment and aware of the thoughts and
beliefs that have brought me to this place and time.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Personal Empowerment
Tagged with:
attachment
divorce
loss
relationship
time
By Shae HaddenBio
Expectations are basic to who we are. From the time we are born, we
live in a relationship with the future based on our experience of the
past and the interpretations of reality that we learn from our culture
and history. We learn from our parents to live up to our expectations.
We organize our actions based on them and, more often than not, they
become self-fulfilling. When something unexpected occurs, we feel
fortunate if it is good and upset if it is bad. Our moods are always
correlated to our expectations. And as we grow older, most of us expect
to ‘slow down’, experience declining health, need to change our
lifestyle and perhaps to give up many of the things we’ve enjoyed most
in our lives. The general expectation of old age is one of decline.
If
I were to have a child (a hypothetical choice at this point in my life,
as I am long past my child-bearing years), I would not be able to bring
them up without teaching them what to expect in the future. For from
the first time they cry and I respond, I would begin a pattern of
stimulus-and-response behavior that would create an expectation. If I
can perceive that my child is hungry, I would feed them: wet, I would
change them. In need of tender touch and affirmation of my presence, I
would provide both for them. And in doing so, they would connect their
need and their rudimentary vocal and body language with a fulfillment
of that need. The mere act of making a request by verbalizing or
indicating with some form of ‘language’, followed by a patterned
response, creates a context of expectation.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
disappointment
expectation
history
lesson
relationship
By Shae Hadden
Bio
I’ve always been aware of the distances between people…ever since my
first childhood remembrance of being a being separate from my mother.
Vivid memories of being the last one chosen to be on the team in gym
class translated into a story about being the one assigned to sit on
the sidelines of life while others got to play. I thought I had left
that all behind when I got married at the ripe old age of 28. I was
ready to dive in and live full out. And I thought I did….Until recently.
[ Read More]
Written by admin at Personal Empowerment
Tagged with:
connection
love
relationship
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