was in an interesting conversation recently about how we can interact
with people who hold different beliefs than ours. The question posed
was, “How can one be with someone whose beliefs are the antithesis of
our own?” An important inquiry to engage in, considering that a clash
of beliefs is at the heart of most conflict and strife between people.
from the group varied from escape (“We can’t be with them at all, so we
leave”) and avoidance (“We can’t be with them, so we avoid them”) to
pity (“The only way we can be with them is to think how sad it is that
they hold their beliefs”), and curiosity and compassion (“We can be
with them by observing their thoughts and relating to their essential
humanness”). Many in the conversation found it difficult to move beyond
pity. And yet, even pity is insufficient to resolve a conflict. For one
who pities still sees themselves as being ‘more’ or ‘better’ than those
When we pity, what remains unspoken is sensed and
colors the relationship. I worked for a manager once whom I pitied, and
that contributed to increased antagonism between us—for it didn’t
create an opening for us to discuss what we shared in common and what
we both considered to be our birthright as humans. Basic things, such
• Access to education and meaningful work • Freedom of expression • Safe places in which to live, raise children and grow old, and • Access to sufficient resources (food, water, shelter, medical care) to be healthy.
clung to our beliefs as if they were what we knew to be ‘truth’.
Unfortunately, the relationship deteriorated and I chose to leave the
organization. I found out years later that she had eventually left
shortly thereafter. Neither of us got to have a conversation about what
we really cared about, because we were entrenched in our positions
about ‘what was so’.
One of my friends once pointed out to me
that, for them, beliefs are not knowledge. That seemed to me to be
self-evident at the time, but in l my recent conversation about
beliefs, I became aware that many confuse their lives by equating
beliefs with knowledge. Yet, it seems to me that when we collapse what
we hold to be ‘truth’ (our beliefs) onto what we think we ‘know’, we
shut down any possibility of anything else being ‘true’. When we cling
to what we believe and know as ‘truth’, then we destroy all chances for
According to leaders like the Dalai Lama, true
reconciliation (and perhaps the only peaceful way through the world of
differences we inhabit) is available to us through wholehearted
compassion. When we can see and interact with others as human Beings
(as individual souls having human experiences) instead of as a
maelstrom of beliefs, then perhaps we can begin to live together
peacefully. I’m certainly not advocating that we condone behaviors and
actions that destroy life in any way. However, setting ourselves up as
better than another because of what we believe is a covert form of
resisting their beliefs.
Perhaps what underlies our
difficulties as a species is a belief that it is not possible to
fulfill everyone’s birthright to the basic elements of life. This type
of thinking contributes to our disagreements over resources and rights
and creates the so-called battle between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have
What if … we individually and collectively choose another belief?
What if … we see the world as being sufficient for all our needs—as long as we respect each other and the planet?
What if … we see it as our responsibility to each other and to future generations to base all our actions in this belief?
What if … we focus on collaborating instead of resisting each other?
we could develop a whole new set of beliefs from this—beliefs that
support and serve our collective future and the future of our world.
By Shae Hadden | BioBelievers
in the Law of Attraction, take heed! If you are afraid, don’t try to
resist your fear. If you do, then you will give more power to it and
end up attracting what you are afraid of. I know. I’ve just experienced
my worst fear: of being very sick, alone, and uncertain about what is