Monday Feb 25 2008
Spring is in the air today. The first crocuses blaze their yellow glory at me from across the lawn. I’m staring into the sky blue expanse above the mountain ridge, and wondering why I’ve chosen to move from this place. The quiet location and the natural environment were perfect for me when I moved in a year and a half ago. And now these four walls and many of the things gathered around me loom like barriers to living full out.
The friendships I had before I moved have all, save for a few, disintegrated. Some people have dropped out of my life entirely. Others, still present, relate to me in very different ways than before. Similarly, the activities we used to do together have disappeared from the picture as well.
I am changed.
My inner transformation has created outer changes in my circumstances and relationships. I find myself attracted to the ‘New Me’ and distracted by, even uncomfortable with, the ‘Old Me’. Holding on to anything from my past would seem to be an exercise in futility. I sense an overwhelming urge to ‘clean house’, to empty my life of what no longer serves.
It’s said that, as we journey through life, we find ourselves letting go of people, places and things that no longer align with who we are. While I’m grateful for everyone and everything in my life today, I’m also realizing that transformation has a price: we must let go of who we have been and what we once treasured to become who we are choosing to be.
I’ve decided I’m going to do a bit of spring-cleaning this afternoon. I just wonder what my empty house will fill up with next…?