Opposing forces are constantly in dynamic motion, striving for balance and harmony.
When
99.99% of human beings all desire the same things (to live peacefully,
feed their families and enjoy life's abundance), it is no longer enough
for us to simply strive for peace.
In these challenging times, we need to transform the entire dance of creation and destruction.
By Jim Selman | BioI like this word. I don’t know why…perhaps
because it is one of those words that seems to express itself in
speaking of it. The word means ‘anxiety’—a kind of generalized anxiety
with being alive. The existential philosophers talked a lot about angst. In fact, we
normally associate angst with existentialism—existential angst. The
word is usually associated with a negative mood such as depression or
what Thomas Merton characterized as “the dark night of the soul”. I
think that Heidegger talked about it as the inherent tension between
‘being’ and ‘non-being’. I think that angst underlies the ‘suffering’
that Buddha associated with human existence and probably is behind the
concept of ‘original sin’. Whatever its origins or deeper meanings, it
is a day-to-day practical reality for most of us in our unending quest
to ‘get it right’ and ‘be happy’.[Read More]
By Shae Hadden | BioFor a few hours
yesterday, I was ‘spring cleaning’, clearing out the accumulated papers
and possessions of the past. I always find such ‘mindless’ activities
actually very mindful: they are the perfect opportunity to become
present to many of the old internal conversations I’ve been having with
myself. Each piece of paper or item draws up memories or images of who
I was or what was happening in my life at the time. Yesterday, what
kept appearing was the thought that I have been deceiving myself about
who I am and what I want to do with my life for a very long time. A
question followed—what value is there in deceit?[Read More]
By Shae Hadden | BioI’ve
been thinking about how we define success, and observing how serene
people become when they feel ‘successful’. For most of my life, I’ve
focused my thinking on achieving the traditional symbols of success:
significant recognition, meaningful associations with particular
people, my own home, specific possessions. Something shifted in me a
few years ago when I realized none of these ‘mean’ anything when we
reach the end of our journey. They hold only peripheral interest for me
now.[Read More]
By Shae Hadden | BioSpring is in the air today. The first crocuses blaze their yellow glory
at me from across the lawn. I’m staring into the sky blue expanse above
the mountain ridge, and wondering why I’ve chosen to move from this
place. The quiet location and the natural environment were perfect for
me when I moved in a year and a half ago. And now these four walls and
many of the things gathered around me loom like barriers to living full
out.[Read More]
By Shae Hadden BioIn a recent conversation with my sisters, I was reminded that people
don’t necessarily have to agree with the how, why or when of a
particular possibility. But they do have to be aligned on the ‘who’ and
the ‘what’ in order to move forward together—and the ‘who’ has to
include a commitment from each person involved to the possibility of
the ‘what’. In fact, disagreeing with the specifics of how to create a
possibility adds value to the conversation and can inform and, in many
cases, contribute to the success of the venture—whether it is the
creation of something intangible (like a relationship) or tangible
(like a product, project or organization). For
most, agreement occurs when one person surrenders their point of view
to accept another point of view.[Read More]
By Shae Hadden BioIn a recent conversation with my sisters, I was reminded that people
don’t necessarily have to agree with the how, why or when of a
particular possibility. But they do have to be aligned on the ‘who’ and
the ‘what’ in order to move forward together—and the ‘who’ has to
include a commitment from each person involved to the possibility of
the ‘what’. In fact, disagreeing with the specifics of how to create a
possibility adds value to the conversation and can inform and, in many
cases, contribute to the success of the venture—whether it is the
creation of something intangible (like a relationship) or tangible
(like a product, project or organization). For
most, agreement occurs when one person surrenders their point of view
to accept another point of view. Essentially, one perspective wins, the
other loses, within the context of agreement. An example: in
negotiations, the struggle for power is a struggle between perspectives
that has the winner take the dominant position at the head of the
table. Agreement is an either/or proposition. It does not allow space
for collaboration, respect or trust.[Read More]
By Shae Hadden BioAs the evenings get cooler and days shorter here, summer holidays wind
down. Everyone seems to be preparing for the start of September, and
looking forward to the last real weekend before things start up again.
Most everyone I talk with has enjoyed some of the summer outside with
family and friends, and I find myself experiencing a twinge of regret.
For me, the last few months have been a blur of work indoors in front
of the computer, interspersed with a few brief moments of relaxation.
This afternoon, I am acknowledging that I have ‘missed’ this summer
altogether in my efforts to fulfill as many of my commitments as
possible.[Read More]
I was speaking with a friend today about how we sometimes feel
‘disempowered’ in certain situations where people repeat their patterns
of the past and where we have no ‘accountability’ for the outcome. I
realized as we were talking that we generally look at ‘being empowered’
as a solution in our careers and personal lives—as the pathway to the
promised land that will deliver us from whatever circumstances are
challenging us in the moment. When we see teams of people creating new
possibilities and managing themselves to solve their own problems,
we’re seeing people who have empowered themselves moving in action.
We often use a lack of empowerment
as a sweeping justification for all kinds of organizational and
relationship problems. The pursuit of empowerment can become an
impediment to change—effectively reinforcing or aggravating a person’s
or a company’s existing predisposition to the status quo. When people
start thinking empowerment as an entitlement,
they complain about autonomy, about being left alone and about being
responsible for particular outcomes without the ‘authority to act’.
Although they say they need or want power, they often continue to
behave as if they are powerless. If others in the organization buy into
this view of entitlement, they start accepting whatever excuses are
offered for not delivering on commitments—a shared conversation that
effectively disempowers people and creates a habit of using excuses to
‘explain away’ their behavior.[Read More]
I find myself in a strange space today. My husband and I filed divorce
papers jointly yesterday, and this morning I awoke to what seemed like
a different world. My regular yoga routine was awash in tears, and my
conversations likewise. I know that people get divorced all the time,
just as people die all the time. These two facts are different, but for
me today they seem very close to the same experience—loss.
While
we have been living separately for over a year now, and I have been at
peace with how our relationship was evolving, today was special. Today
for the first time, I felt like I was truly ‘on my own’, without a
partner, without connection to another human being. I am adrift with my
thoughts and feelings and free (perhaps even forced) to look newly at
my world, other people and what I am doing with my life. ‘Present’
today in a new way, in this moment and aware of the thoughts and
beliefs that have brought me to this place and time.[Read More]
All
these axioms seem appropriate when speaking of violence, acts of
aggression, conflict, long-standing issues of hate and fear. But why
would we resist the 'good' things in life like friendship, support,
trust, attraction and love?[Read More]
By Shae Hadden BioSnow blankets the crocuses today... I can see the remnants of autumn
leaves nourishing the roots of these fragile blooms, reminding me that
the blossoming of new growth is part of life's natural cycles of birth
and death. I've been looking at myself and my life from the perspective of 'new'
for the last while...(see my post on the Mirror of Old) and the view
has freed me. Each morning, I've taken an extra moment to really look
at myself in the mirror, to take in the woman staring back at me as if
she is someone I'm creating anew each day. The signs of age are still
visible, but I see something else I hadn't noticed before.[Read More]
By Shae Hadden BioI'm fascinated by how people affix meaning to language, and the
limitless interpretations they draw from words. 'Old', for example,
triggers different responses among my friends. And their
interpretations show me how they feel about growing older. It's not
always a happy image...[Read More]
Was talking with a close friend this week, and we were both
acknowledging how much we’ve changed over the last few months. Looking
back, it would seem the circumstances of our lives have forced us to
grow, to expand our individual perspectives to encompass all the
challenges life has offered—from critical illnesses and ongoing health
concerns to business changes, relationship transitions and dramatic
encounters with fear and uncertainty.
Yet
it’s not really the situations we’ve found ourselves in that have
instigated our growth. Life happens…irrespective of our wants, wishes,
desires, needs. The situations and events of our lives are simply
potential catalysts, opportunities for us to choose.
I’ve always been aware of the distances between people…ever since my
first childhood remembrance of being a being separate from my mother.
Vivid memories of being the last one chosen to be on the team in gym
class translated into a story about being the one assigned to sit on
the sidelines of life while others got to play. I thought I had left
that all behind when I got married at the ripe old age of 28. I was
ready to dive in and live full out. And I thought I did….Until recently.
By Jim Selman | 
By Shae Hadden | 
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