Long-Term Commitments |
Thursday Oct 18 2007
By Rick Fullerton
Bio
On Thanksgiving weekend (the Canadian version that happens in early
October), my wife and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary with
family and friends. Our children—now adults living on their
own—arranged everything so all Phyllis and I had to do was arrive at
the church hall at the appointed time. For those of you with younger
families, there is hope!
In anticipation of this event, we pulled out photographs and other
mementos of our married lives together and recalled our earlier 25-year
milestone celebration.We learned that some of our memorabilia, as well as an oil painting by our daughter, would be displayed at the reception. We looked forward to being involved, yet also felt somewhat out of the loop since others were doing all the preparations.
Phyllis and I decided we would make our entrance to the festivities wearing our wedding clothes (as sentimental pack rats we had saved her wedding dress and my suit all these years). With just a little effort, we were able to surprise our loved ones and delight the grandchildren by showing off our fancy outfits. From my perspective, what is most gratifying about this experience is that neither Phyllis nor I did anything specific to step into those 40-year-old clothes. There were no crash diets, no alternations. So how did we do this?
With over four decades of life experiences—five pregnancies, six geographic moves, four significant career changes, and a sprinkling of accidents and illnesses—we have individually and collectively taken care of what we eat and drink, the way we treat our bodies, and the priority we assign to a balanced life.
In practice, this means we have learned a lot about healthy diets and exercise, while also recognizing that we are quite different in our physiology, our interests and our needs. I gave up eating meats about 10 years ago, yet Phyllis delights when she has lamb or beef when eating out or when I am away. Similarly, I love active exercise that gives me a great cardiovascular workout (like cycling), while she rarely breaks a sweat doing her regular yoga routine. Of course, we also do some activities together, like walking and canoeing.
I believe our ability to maintain reasonable fitness and weight over 40 years stems from a constancy of commitment—similar in many ways to the commitment to making a relationship work for the long-term. At the same time, it is clear to me that our marriage itself has been a key to keeping each other healthy and active.
More musings to follow next month…
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