By Kevin Brown | Bio
Recently, I came across an article from the New York Times entitled "Invisible Immigrants, Old and Left With ‘Nobody to Talk To’",
concerning elderly immigrants in the United States and the loneliness
and isolation that many of them experience, especially those who
speak little or no English.
The article references
Mr. Devendra Singh, a 79-year-old widower, who commented on differences
he observed in people in North America and people in India. “Here
people think about what is convenient and inconvenient for them.” He
notes that in India, there is a favorable bias towards the elderly. And
Professor Teas, a sociology professor and demographer at the University
of California, Irvine, also noted in the article that, "Reliant on
their children, late-life immigrants are a vulnerable population. They
come anticipating a great deal of family togetherness. But American
society isn’t organized in a way that responds to their cultural
expectations.”
I hold the view that loneliness, isolation,
and the desire for family togetherness is shared by an increasing
number of seniors right across North America. These experiences and desires are not unique to immigrants, although they may indeed be more pronounced.
During
the last few weeks, my brother-in-law, my wife and myself have been
visiting my mother-in-law in Edmonton, while she is recovering in
hospital from a fall and an unrelated infection. At this time, it looks
favorable that she will be able to return to her assisted living
complex. During our visits, each of us have noticed the infrequent
visits to other seniors in the same ward as my mother-in-law. In fact,
this experience reminds me of our visits to my mother while she was in
hospital six years ago. The periodic visits to her ward mates was just
as noticeable. How the seniors in my mother-in-law’s ward must long
for the experience of family togetherness that was present for their
parents and for their grandparents.
In discussions with my
mother and my mother-in-law (while they were in hospital), each had
plenty of time to share their experiences of family life while they
were growing up. The family was the centre of life. And the deep
closeness that typified their families was a source of pride. Now, of
course, family members are lucky if they live in the same city or
country. Mr. Singh's comment about people's concern for what is
convenient and inconvenient begs the question, “Do we make time for the seniors in our life?” If not, and if these relationships are important to us, we must find and create other ways to keep connected.
At the Eldering Institute®, we are committed to transforming the conversation about what is possible as we grow older. The first two commitments in the Eldering Manifesto
call us into a new possibility and vision for growing older and
relating to one another with respect and dignity. I invite you take a
few minutes to read it and add your name to the hundreds of people who
are committed to Eldering™. Let's work together to connect with seniors in the communities in which we live. © 2009 Kevin Brown. All rights reserved.
Written by eldering at Wisdom in Action
Tagged with:
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eldering_manifesto
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By Kevin Brown | Bio
Like
me, you can probably remember a relationship you had as a child with an
elderly relative or friend of the family. Some of my best memories of
such a time involve Mrs. Cowling, an elderly lady who lived next door
to us. We had just moved to a new neighborhood in Calgary, and there
were only two completed homes on the block. Our home had the only
family of children for about three blocks. There was my older sister
Paulette (13 years old), myself (7) , and my brand new brother Ken who
was not yet one. Mrs. Cowling was in her eighties[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Wisdom in Action
Tagged with:
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By Kevin Brown | Bio
This
past February I wrote an article concerning the Seniors
Action Group of Calgary and their experience with staging
intergenerational theatre projects. In that article I referenced a new
work
and partnership that the group was preparing to undertake with the
Calgary Sexual Health Centre. That new work is now nearing the
end of their Spring 2009 offering and the production is
receiving accolades from all who attend.
With the encouragement and support of Nicole Hergert, a counselor with the Calgary Sexual Health Centre and the artistic leadership and direction of Mariette Sluyter, founding director of the Foundation Lab, Seniors a GOGO was formed as a partnership between the Calgary Sexual
Health Centre, the Seniors Action Group, and the Foundation Lab.
Last Sunday evening in Calgary, the partners held a
celebration event to recognize the accomplishments of Seniors A GOGO in
bringing attention to the promotion of healthy
sexuality throughout one's lifespan through theatre. The celebration event included
pictorial displays, video renditions of monologues written and
performed by seniors, and live productions of some of their work. In
the audience were family members, friends, sponsors, production
assistants, and a number of invited guests.
The evening was kicked off with the artistic director sharing some
of the challenges that the partnership faced in attracting seniors to
share their experience of sexuality and in overcoming the stereotypes
associated with seniors and sex or the absence thereof. Watch for an
upcoming posting by Marianne Sluyter in which she will share more of
the challenges faced by the partnership and of the breakthroughs that
occurred along the way.
Throughout the evening, the audience was introduced to each of the
members of Seniors a GOGO as one by one they shed a light on sexuality,
intimacy, and self-worth for men and women in the normal course of
aging. What was abundantly clear throughout the evening was that,
regardless of age, we all have a need to be loved, to be appreciated,
to be admired, and to be engaged in an intimate relationship. As one
of the seniors shared, it was important to be in a relationship in
which 'In To Me See' (read "Intimacy") was present.
What a pleasure it was to witness seniors sharing the very best of
who they are with younger generations in attendance. All age groups
were represented in the audience and it was my observation that
everyone was touched and inspired by the production members.
Sunday evening was a testimony to the strides that can be made
when partnering organizations and individuals come together to advance
the quality of life of Elders. Focusing attention on sexuality in the
later stages of life is central to the ongoing health and wellness of
Elders. Thanks to Seniors a GOGO, I was privileged to experience
collaboration in community and wisdom in action! © 2009 Kevin Brown. All rights reserved.
Written by eldering at Health
Tagged with:
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intimacy
seniors
sexuality
By Kevin Brown | Bio
It
is my experience that caregiving is fast becoming another role that
adults will take on in the communities in which we live. In fact,
Statistics Canada reports that seniors made up 13.1% of the general
population in 2005. The Ottawa-based Institute of Marriage and Family,
in their recently released report titled 'Care-Full', states that
between 2005 and 2056, the average Canadian's life expectancy will rise
by seven years. One could assume that the statistics for the United
States will be similar in nature. It seems to me, therefore,
that even if you have not assumed the role of a caregiver in the past,
it is a role that you will likely assume sometime in your future.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
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 By Kevin Brown | Bio
Many
of you are experiencing firsthand what it means to be living with
someone older than you. Perhaps you are a teen or young adult living
with your parents, or perhaps you are an adult who has a parent or
older relative living with you. Experience reveals that at some point
in our lives we will be sharing an intergenerational relationship while
under one roof. Most of us have the experience of living with our
parents while we grow up. But the experience of taking on a caring role
is very different.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
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intergenerational
seniors
By Kevin Brown | Bio
You
must forgive the title of this post, especially if you view aging the
way that I view aging: as a natural progression of life that embodies
endless possibilities. This view is the core reason why I joined the
Eldering Institute, an organization that promotes a life of power,
purpose and possibility for Elders. I choose to live in a world in
which individuals, regardless of age, are committed to continually
creating new possibilities for their lives. I am speaking of
possibilities that allow [ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
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By Kevin Brown | Bio
Recently,
I had the privilege of meeting with a local group of leaders that were
actively engaged in Eldering activities in the heart of Calgary
Alberta, Canada. I was fortunate in that one of those leaders, my
Uncle George Hopkins (a gentleman who really espouses the Eldering Principles), shared with me the contribution a group of seniors are making within their community. George
is currently active with a group of elder leaders in his community
bringing together seniors and youth in community theatre events. He
and his group have been partnering with [ Read More]
Written by eldering at Wisdom in Action
Tagged with:
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