By Jim Selman |
Bio
We’ve all experienced a situation—whether in
a marriage, friendship or business relationship—where we find ourselves
thinking about the other person and saying, “I love you, BUT…”. It’s in
that moment we realize a particular behavior of theirs is not
acceptable to us and has become a source of stress and resentment. For
many, resentment almost always leads to a downward spiral of
self-destructive behavior and the eventual destruction of the
relationship. I was coaching a friend recently who is in such a dilemma.[
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Written by eldering at Personal Empowerment
Tagged with:
addiction
boundaries
change
choice
commitment
habit
possibility
relationship
risk
By Jim Selman |
Bio
I was reading an interesting article by a
prestigious think tank this morning that was saying perhaps the
‘recession’ isn’t as black or white as most of us make it out to be and
that it most certainly isn’t as bad as conventional wisdom and media
hype would have us believe. I noticed I felt a little better after
reading it, but then I wondered why my mood shifted so easily based on
only one article. Tomorrow I could read a darker scenario by another
equally reputable authority and feel depressed. Some days I am
optimistic and some days I am pessimistic. This came as a bit of a
surprise, since one of the tenets of my work and what I teach is that
‘pessimism’ and ‘optimism’ are counter-productive concepts—assessments
based on attempting to predict an unpredictable future.[
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Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
choice
optimism
pessimism
possibility
recession
risk
By Jim Selman |
Bio
Our
relationship to risk and our fears is closely related. Most of our
lives we’ve made decisions based on some formal or informal process for
assessing ‘risk’. In our conventional way of thinking, this means
trying to predict what will or will not happen and with what
probabilities based on some scenario or course of action. It is a
‘forward looking’ posture and, as with all predictions, draws on
historical data or experience and projects it into the future. In other
words, we take our past, project it into the future and then make our
choices and commitments based on what our predictions (the past) tell
us will
probably happen. Anyone who is even mildly
paying attention can easily grasp that the predictions are wrong more
often than they are right.[
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Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
commitment
control
fear
future
prediction
risk
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