 By Jim Selman | Bio
There are two kinds of break-ups. The
‘soft’ breakup is where both parties in a relationship more or less
stay in communication and talk about their differences, their
discontent or their changing needs until they arrive at a conclusion
that “This just isn’t working” and agree to go their separate ways.
Sometimes they remain friends. In any case, this kind of mature and
honest ending allows both parties to let go of past expectations or
disappointments, eventually reach some degree of ‘completion’ with the
romance and move on with their lives. The ‘hard’ breakup is when[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
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By Jim Selman | Bio
For
years I have thought that we should put a lot more effort into learning
how to receive. I grew up with the idea that it is “better to give than
receive” and have tried to live by that maxim to the best of my
ability. This is not to say there haven’t been plenty of selfish
moments along the way. But I am not talking about being selfish. I am
talking about the value of being truly open to receiving what others
wish to give—and not just material gifts—also things like love,
appreciation, acknowledgement, and gratitude. If everyone is giving,
then we’re going to be frustrated (at best) unless at least half of us
are receiving. Learning to receive is not so easy.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Wisdom in Action
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 By Jim Selman | Bio
My birthday is tomorrow. I don’t normally
give much significance to these annual milestones. I don’t actually
remember most of my birthdays, other than a few of the hallmarks—21st,
50th and maybe my 65th. I certainly appreciate the cards and wishes
and the fact that someone cares enough to acknowledge the day. My
birthday has probably been of more interest to astrologers than it has
for me. This year, I am spending it alone in Madrid on a rainy day.
Perhaps for this reason, I am more reflective than I might otherwise
be.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
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 By Jim Selman | Bio
Well, here we are, another Christmas Day,
almost another year gone by and people everywhere are at home or, if
not, are hopefully getting ‘something special’. I am saying a special
‘thanks’ to all those people who are working today so the rest of us
can relax and do whatever it is we’re doing on Christmas day—the
soldiers, the firemen, the police, the health care workers and even
lots of people in the hospitality and transportation industries. I woke up today thinking about[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Wisdom in Action
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By Shae Hadden | Bio
There’s a place near Fort McLeod in Alberta that goes by this odd name…the Head-Smashed-In-Buffalo Jump world heritage site
…where the indigenous peoples used to lead the buffalo to jump off a
cliff. A place where there’s a very finite line between life and
death…and where life comes from death. You see, for thousands of years,
the native people would use this natural geographical formation to
‘harvest’ these wild animals and feed their tribes each winter. I’m
remembering this place today because I’ve been reminded—not so subtly
by being in a car accident—that life is the dash between birth and
death.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Learning
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Like everyone, I get a lot of ‘pass along’ email. Some of it is junk,
but most of it is well intended ‘sharing’ from friends and family.
Given the diversity amongst my friends and families, it sometimes looks
like a town hall meeting with my conservative family squared off
against my liberal friends. I love them both. Some of the stuff is
beautiful (like wilderness photos), some of it is funny, and some of it
is inspirational. I have noticed since YouTube, more and more seems to
be inspirational. I wonder why…? Yesterday I received for the second time an article about Dick Hoyt,
the father of a young man with cerebral palsy who is trapped in a body
that doesn’t work well and who will spend the rest of his life in a
wheelchair communicating with an air hose. This young man, however, is
blessed with a father whose love may equal that of other parents of
handicapped children but whose commitment is extraordinary.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Wisdom in Action
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I am happy to be home, even when it’s only for a couple of days. Home
is where we are when we feel most ourselves. It is, I think, a deep
connection to a place, to people and one’s familiar surroundings.
Growing up in the military meant we moved a lot and I think I
associated home more with our furniture and my family than a particular
place or even my friends—people who would, after all, be left behind
next time we moved. This current respite from my schedule is relaxed and enjoyable as
Darlene and I reconnect after being apart most of the summer. But it is
also showing me how easy it is to lose one’s connection to home and
those we love in the pace and pressure of working and travel.[ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Personal Empowerment
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By Don ArnoudseBio
I’ve
been feeling the pain of transitions lately. Or as my wife observed,
“You seem troubled”. Perhaps not a big deal—but for someone who lives
life as a perennial optimist, a bit unusual. So what’s going on? One
interpretation I have is that I’m just gearing up for what’s next. It’s
a familiar indicator for me to feel restless, a bit irritable, even
fearful as I come to (or beyond) the natural end of a particular phase
and pause in that “white space” between saying “Goodbye” to one chapter
and “Hello” to something new. I never enjoy it, but it is familiar. As
I get ready to enter my 60s in six months or so, I’ve been thinking
about how I want to age.[ Read More]
Written by Don Arnoudse at Fearless Aging
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I am profoundly grateful today for the gift of life and the opportunity to observe. How extraordinary and beautiful this all is. When we consider how miraculous it is that we are here at all, even the difficulty and pain are exquisite. [ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Wisdom in Action
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By Don Arnoudse
Bio
My
20 year-old daughter, Sara, was in full voice, speaking rapidly with
both tension and inspiration. “Dad, there are so many things I want to
do. I’m going to Spain in the fall, but I wish I were staying on campus
[at the University of New Hampshire] so I can meet the presidential
candidates before the primary. I don’t know at all where I’m going to
live next spring. This summer, I’m interested in an internship in
Washington, DC, but people tell me it’s a great time to be on campus.
There’s another overnight leadership workshop next weekend, but I’m
just not sure if I want to go again. I might want to take an extra
semester before I graduate because there are so many courses I want to
take and I’m running out of time. I feel like I should get a job and
make some money, but I’m not sure how I would fit it all in. Everything
is just so up in the air!”[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Personal Empowerment
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