By Jim Selman | Bio
Of
all the complaints and fears we hear that are associated with aging,
the number one is boredom. After a lifetime of activity and
accomplishment, it is incredible how many of us move into “elderland”
only to discover that we’re unsatisfied and bored. How can this be?
Granted that we might not be as spry as we once were and some of our
libidos are lackluster, but goodness gracious, do we really expect our
circumstances to make us happy or enthusiastic or interested in other
people and the possibilities of each and every day? [ Read More]
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By Jim Selman | Bio
My daughter wrote a blog yesterday ( A World of Performance)
about how technology can move us further and further away from
human-to-human connections. I thought “Wow, I would never have thought
about that at her age”. Her reflections about what is happening to us
as human beings were insightful, but also very useful to me. I have
been promoting use of technology to connect people and never imagined
that it could also divide us. Now I can be more rigorous and prudent in
balancing the risks and rewards.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Learning
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I can’t remember all the words but I remember hearing a ditty once that
began, “My father in his house of logs said the world is going to the
dogs”. Today is Father’s Day, and while I am a professional and
practical optimist (no point in being a pessimist), I am embarrassed to
say that I am starting to think like this jingle. The point to the
verse is, of course, that as we get older we can easily become trapped
in a kind of negativity—comparing current events with the ‘good old
days’. This in spite of the fact that somehow life always works out
and, all in all, it gets better over time. My dad was a child and teenager during the “Great Depression” of the 1930s.[ Read More]
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Dear Dad,
I wanted to share this song, “ Before You Go”,
with you today. It says what I have never been able to communicate
fully…THANK YOU for my life and all that I cherish, value and hold
dear. As you and many of your generation know all too well, many of my
generation and those younger than us don't necessarily understand or
agree with your views. But I wanted you to know we all acknowledge and
appreciate the gifts you have given us.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Wisdom in Action
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By Zakia Carpenter | Unending Conversations of Hope blog
This article appeared in the April 20-26, 2008 issue of the
Michigan Citizen and is reproduced here with the author's permission. Please
post your comments here.
I have noticed a breakdown in youth-adult functionality that I'm
just beginning to articulate. From what I have read about the
Millennial Generation (youth, like me, born between 1977 and 1998),
experts predict it will be more separate from previous generations due
to the technological divide. However, this is just one factor dividing us. Every generation has
ideas and values differentiating it from prior generations. Our
histories shape us differently. Essentially we are our own entity,
separate from those who gave birth to us. [ Read More]
Written by admin at The Great Turning
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I have been thinking about the process of growing older for a long
time. In my 30s, I discovered I had all sorts of stereotypes about old
people (which for me at that age was anyone over 60) and that most of
my notions were just plain wrong. For example, I learned though
conversations with a number of older friends that most people aren’t
afraid to die after a certain point—but they are afraid to die without
having left a mark or without having been able to pass on their life’s
experience to the younger generation. I began to distinguish that we
all grow old ‘into a cultural interpretation’ of what it means to grow
older, into a story about what we can expect and what is and isn’t
possible. I realized that aging isn’t personal, anymore than the
weather is (or any other context we all share for that matter). Yet,
our whole conversation about aging seems to be about ‘me’ and what I
want, how I feel, why I am doing or not doing something, and what I
think about everything and everyone in my life.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Fearless Aging
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Like everyone, I get a lot of ‘pass along’ email. Some of it is junk,
but most of it is well intended ‘sharing’ from friends and family.
Given the diversity amongst my friends and families, it sometimes looks
like a town hall meeting with my conservative family squared off
against my liberal friends. I love them both. Some of the stuff is
beautiful (like wilderness photos), some of it is funny, and some of it
is inspirational. I have noticed since YouTube, more and more seems to
be inspirational. I wonder why…? Yesterday I received for the second time an article about Dick Hoyt,
the father of a young man with cerebral palsy who is trapped in a body
that doesn’t work well and who will spend the rest of his life in a
wheelchair communicating with an air hose. This young man, however, is
blessed with a father whose love may equal that of other parents of
handicapped children but whose commitment is extraordinary.[ Read More]
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 I am officially on holiday. Darlene and I are in Granada seeing what is
perhaps one of the two or three top tourist destinations in Europe—The
Alhambra. Aside from this site being a unique and spectacular complex
of ancient fortifications and Arabic palaces, it also tells the story
of how temporal our lives and our civilizations really are. This one
had a pretty good run (about 800 years) before it was conquered in
1492, the same year Columbus set foot in the ‘New World’.
Our visit has been ‘dampened’ a bit by a deluge—the hardest downpour in years if our guide is to be believed. There is nothing like seeing a few thousand mostly retired and
uncomfortable tourists being herded in the rain by dozens of equally
uncomfortable guides waving umbrellas and shouting at the throng.
Everyone, including me, was torn between the desire not to miss
anything that our ticket allowed and wanting to retreat to the comfort
of a cozy bed-and-breakfast.[ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Personal Empowerment
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Most of us are fans of the idea of ‘dialogue’. Dialogue is generally
touted as the answer for resolving conflicts, building trust and
crossing cultural divides of all kinds—be they national,
organizational, ethnic, racial, gender-based or generational. I was
having a conversation recently with a very bright young woman in the
same business as me and we were swapping stories and ideas and
experiences.
Although we are both professional communicators and teach others how to
communicate more effectively, it became obvious after a while that we
were talking ‘at’ each other. I began to experience the same kind of
tension I sometimes feel when I am speaking with my son. Nothing was
wrong per se, but I had the feeling that she wasn’t really listening to
me. As we began to speak about what was going on, I found out the same
was true for her. I felt like she either wasn’t interested in what I
had to say or didn’t care about or respect the breadth and depth of my
experience and knowledge. She also felt I wasn’t ‘getting her’ and
wasn’t respecting her and her considerable knowledge on the subject at
hand. We were two professionals from two generations who were more
competitive than collaborative, and at the end of the day we were both
frustrated at not being able to ‘connect’ the way we do every day with
people of our own generation. There was no dialogue and we ended up
with, at best, a discussion that will not in all likelihood make the
slightest difference in either one of our lives. [ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Wisdom in Action
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I had a great conversation this past weekend with my son Clarke. We
were talking about the differences between ‘his generation’ and ‘my
generation’ (the Boomers), and he shared a perspective I thought was
extraordinary and which made me realize our two age groups advocate two
very different interpretations of reality.
He believes that one of the biggest problems his generation faces is
themselves—because they have grown up in a time in which they have been
constantly bombarded with the marketing machine’s message that the world is custom-made to fulfill whatever you want.
He and his peers have grown up in an era of customized everything—from
their local Starbucks experience to designing their desktop and
personalizing their clothing to match current fads and their own
tastes. The message is always, “How do you want it to be?”. This
proliferation of choices and possibilities is wonderful and convenient
(and obviously good for businesses and marketers). But is it good to
believe that your personal whims and preferences should be the
organizing principle for your life? [ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Wisdom in Action
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