 By Shae Hadden | Bio
The
algae bloom on the lagoon where I’m housesitting seems symbolic of the
state I’m in these days. Long-forgotten, half-hidden ideas seem to be
coming to the forefront of my thinking and showing the richness of
their colors and their impact on my life. Like my belief that “fear is
toxic”. A belief that has been stored for years in my body and which
I’m now choosing to let go of. It’s true that fear[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
fear
growth
health
relationship
toxicity
toxin
 By Jim Selman | Bio
To continue our discussion about fear and
how to master it…. There are distinctions between coping with fear,
transcending fear and transforming fear. Coping is our
normal relationship with just about everything in our contemporary
world. Our relationship to circumstances is that ‘the world’ is real
and, more or less, whatever we think it is. We interact with our
circumstances based on our point of view, and our actions reinforce our
point of view. The result is that we participate in the persistence of
whatever it is we are coping with. People with phobias of various sorts typically learn to live[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
action
commitment
coping
fear
transcendence
transformation
 By Jim Selman | Bio
Sandra,
my financial advisor and friend, and I were talking about the
‘meltdown’ the other day. I was asking how my retirement investments
were doing and she shared that I probably don’t want to know. She is a
believer that markets go up and down and, over the long-haul,
reasonably conservative investing will pay off. Historically this may
be true, but somehow knowing that doesn’t help when you are afraid of
‘losing’ your life’s savings or having to live off your friends and
children when you are old. Sandra’s advice was to relax and don’t read
the newspapers. I think she is right. When I think about it,[ Read More]
Written by eldering at The Great Turning
Tagged with:
economic_meltdown
fear
investments
reality
relationship
By Jim Selman | Bio
Our
relationship to risk and our fears is closely related. Most of our
lives we’ve made decisions based on some formal or informal process for
assessing ‘risk’. In our conventional way of thinking, this means
trying to predict what will or will not happen and with what
probabilities based on some scenario or course of action. It is a
‘forward looking’ posture and, as with all predictions, draws on
historical data or experience and projects it into the future. In other
words, we take our past, project it into the future and then make our
choices and commitments based on what our predictions (the past) tell
us will probably happen. Anyone who is even mildly
paying attention can easily grasp that the predictions are wrong more
often than they are right.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
commitment
control
fear
future
prediction
risk
By Jim Selman | Bio
I just finished reading a piece in the Jan/Feb issue of the Utne Reader called Overcoming Fear Culture and Fear Itself
by Julie Hanus. It is a great commentary on how our society has become
wracked with all sorts of fears. She points to the fact that fear is a
major fuel for lots of politicians and businesses, but that we pay a
very large price to create an illusion of safety. The price is not just
the billions we spend on physical security. It is also the isolation we
create for ourselves when we don’t trust each other, the spiritual
angst we encounter when we lack confidence in ourselves and our
‘reality’, and the kind of withdrawal/denial (and even paralysis) that
comes after long periods of stress and worry.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Join discussion COMMENTS [1]
Tagged with:
12_step
culture
fear
illusion
transform
By Jim Selman | Bio
In “A Course in Miracles”, there is an
aphorism at the beginning of the book that says “Nothing real can be
threatened and nothing unreal exists.” Although I have never formally
studied the program, I have read the book and it is a beautiful and
compelling insight in the realm of spiritual wisdom. For millions, the
Course has given access to a higher power or transformation of their
relationship to the world. What I found for myself was a clarity and
simplicity that is rare in the sometimes arcane world of philosophy and
our desperate desire to understand the Universe. Specifically, that
when it is all said and done, our experience rests on either Fear or
Love, and fear is an illusion in the first place.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Tagged with:
fear
love
moods
relationship
wisdom
 By Jim Selman | Bio
I was recording a podcast recently in
response to the question of how ‘elders’ should be dealing with money
these days given the current and projected economic mess. The woman I
was speaking to was clearly ‘worried’ about her financial future. I
started my response by sharing that over many years of coaching I
sometimes chuckle when speaking with women because they all seem to
have a generic fear of becoming a ‘bag lady’. There was an interesting
article in the Toronto Globe and Mail in December titled, “Why women
look in the mirror and a bag lady looks back”. It seems this archetype
pervades a lot of women’s deepest fears of failure and becoming
destitute.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
Join discussion COMMENTS [1]
Tagged with:
acceptance
bag_lady
choice
elder
fear
money
resistance
sufficiency
 By Jim Selman | Bio
Today is ‘back to work’ for most of us. We’ve
eaten too much, survived another holiday season and are now preparing
for what’s next. This year is different for many throughout the world.
The economy, climate, war and poverty are continuing sources of
suffering. I hear more and more people expressing their fears about the
future and predictions that 2009 will be ‘very tough’. Unfortunately,
if enough people have a pessimistic view of their future, then as I
have said on this blog many times, we are creating a self-fulfilling
reality. We will get what we resist and fear unless and until enough
people create a critical mass to create a different, unpredictable
future.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Leadership
Tagged with:
breakdown
fear
future
leadership
possibility
prediction
work
 By Lauren Selman | Bio
"Don't worry
about it, you've got me in your corner." These are the words that make
a child warm inside and feel like they can accomplish anything. My
father said this to me the other day, and when he said it I felt like I
was on top of the world and that I could do anything. I was scared and
intimidated, but that fear lifted when I knew he would be there. Like
Rocky in the ring, I can look back and know that he is there coaching
me on my swing and my strategy. I know that my parents and their
partners are there to support me in the game of life. It is clear that
they are on my team. Now coming from an athletic background, I know
that there is nothing more important than your team.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Wisdom in Action
Tagged with:
elder
fear
generation_gap
mentor
team
By Jim Selman | Bio
I
heard someone remark that the best thing about getting older is they
don’t have to be afraid anymore. While I think that is one of life’s
‘truisms’, it falls into the same category as your mother telling you
“not to worry”—it doesn’t help much to know that when you are worried!
From what I can see, most people get more fearful and anxious as they
age. This anxiety takes various forms: fear of not having enough money,
fear of being homeless, fear of being alone, fear of becoming dependent
or of losing one’s faculties. The list could go on.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Wisdom in Action
Tagged with:
age
anxiety
certainty
fear
future
wisdom
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