 By Jim Selman | Bio
Nathan Oates, a Christian minister who writes a very thoughtful blog called “ Theologically Speaking”,
did a nice piece on loneliness. His point: how we seem to fragment our
society into all kinds of niches and end up not relating to or
connecting with most of the people around us. Even in the churches that
one would imagine to be the most community-oriented institutions, the
norm is to break the congregation into oriented ‘special interest’
groups according to age—the tots, teens, 20 ‘somethings’, 30
‘somethings’, middle-agers and seniors. While such segregation might
make sense in terms of some ‘educational’ objectives, it makes no sense
spiritually and undermines the whole idea of a multigenerational
community.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Fearless Aging
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Life happens while we are having conversations with ourselves and other people. Not learning from others may have a lot to do with not truly
‘listening’ to what others say. Listening is the context that makes
life intelligible, allows anything to have meaning, and forms the basis
for all communication (both written and spoken). It is a whole lot more
than just ‘hearing’ the words that are spoken. I’m always listening,
always bringing a prior interpretation or understanding of my world to
every situation I encounter or can imagine encountering. This is the most basic aspect of being a human being I know.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Learning
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I was speaking with a friend recently about age in general, how we
‘remember’ our lives and the power of memories to affect our day-to-day
experience. From one perspective, I think that living in the present is
the point of living—experientially at least. When we are present, our
memories are just memories and don’t affect us either positively or
negatively. Our memories are our ‘story’, and we can relate to our past
as just that—a story. On the other hand, our moods and our memories are
very connected. While the past is the past, it can have an impact on
the present. Memory can enrich our lives and allow us to ‘relive’ happy
moments or it can displace and diminish our lives, burying us in
caskets of regret, resentment, fear and guilt.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Personal Empowerment
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I was having a conversation recently with an old friend who is deeply
committed to a spiritual practice intended to release us from the
vicious cycle of ego and our addiction to the material world. I was
sharing about Serene Ambition and my commitment to do what I can to
encourage our generation to ‘make a difference’ and leave the world in
better shape than we found it—to leave a legacy of possibility to those
who come behind us. My friend pointed out that this is a terrific focus for service and
expression of love for human beings and our world. However, she pointed
out, take care that you aren’t trying to leave a legacy to satisfy some
ego-centered ideal.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Wisdom in Action
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Life happens while we are having conversations with ourselves and other people. Not learning from others may have a lot to do with not truly
‘listening’ to what others say. Listening is the context that makes
life intelligible, allows anything to have meaning, and forms the basis
for all communication (both written and spoken). It is a whole lot more
than just ‘hearing’ the words that are spoken. I’m always listening,
always bringing a prior interpretation or understanding of my world to
every situation I encounter or can imagine encountering.[ Read More]
Written by admin at Wisdom in Action
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I have been thinking a lot about my body. In my work, the body is a key
to learning anything. Unless we ‘embody’ new distinctions, we continue
to operate inside our habitual worldview and way of being—‘inside the
box’. What I can see is that my conversation about my body, like all my
conversations needs to change as I grow older. If I attempt to apply
the same concepts and tools I learned and used as a young man to deal
with who I am today, including my body, then I am going to be trapped
in the same patterns. If my life story is any indication, I will push
‘doing it my way’ to the absolute limit before acknowledging it is once
again time to ‘grow up’. For example, when I stopped smoking, it was only after the medical messenger said ‘or else’ after a physical examination.[ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Health
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One of the concerns ‘older’ people share with us is how important it is
to keep our health. Hypochondriacs aside, the majority of us still hear
and believe that the older we get, the more difficult maintaining good
health will be. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that if we lose our
health, we lose most—or all—of our other options. I confess I am not a
health expert: the latest developments in nutrition, dieting and
exercise are not my key concerns. Yet I am healthy and, while I could
be more fit, I am told I am somewhere in the normal range. When it comes to health, I acknowledge there are numerous events,
accidents, and externally caused diseases that can destroy the best of
intentions. However, I believe a great deal of declining health
(physical and mental) is actually a function of ‘giving up’, becoming
resigned and becoming less active.[ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Personal Empowerment
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 My recent vacation has been a wonderful opportunity to take a
much-needed break from my work and travels. It has also been an
opportunity to reflect on the four questions I mentioned in my Idleness post that were posed by Richard Leider in his great book Claiming Your Place at the Fire.
The title refers to an aboriginal tradition of giving the seats closest
to the fire to the community’s elders—not because it is warmer, but
because that is the place that one’s voice can be most easily heard by
others. One of his questions that I am reflecting on today is, “Where do I belong?”[ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Retirement
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I am not sure it’s possible to waste time. It is possible to spend time, and waste is always a judgement relative to some standard or expectation of what we should be doing with our time. We can use time to do things that we judge as having maximum or high value. When we are really up against a deadline and there is more to do than we think can be done in the time allotted, we can even somehow create time. Yet, there are many times when I just don’t feel like doing whatever it is I think I should do. [ Read More]
Written by admin at Personal Empowerment
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