By Jim Selman | Bio
It seems to me that there are three
fundamental relationships that we all share as human beings: 1) our
relationship with ourselves and other people, 2) our relationship with
our circumstances, and 3) our relationship with time. When we are
inflexible or stuck in habitual ways of being in any of these areas, we
become trapped in a condition from which we cannot extract ourselves: we
are caught in a ‘self-referential’ spiral in which the more we attempt
to improve a situation, the more intractable it becomes. In the extreme,
this condition becomes an addiction— whether to a substance, a behavior
or an ideology.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
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By Kevin Brown | Bio
This
week I have been having discussions with several of my friends and
business associates concerning the apparent absence of choice as we are
nearing retirement. It seems that for some people, there appears to be
no choice but to remain with their current employer in a job they no
longer find satisfaction in due to an anticipated financial loss
associated with pension and health benefits. For many, this realization
has them feeling like they have no choice in the matter. I have also noticed a similar view[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
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By Shae Hadden
A friend shared corporate poet David Whyte's recent article " A Fire Inside: Thoughts on the Creativity of Winter"
with me. David uses a brilliant metaphor to explore the trauma of loss
prevalent in the global economic crisis. He speaks of a a fire burning
inside a home on a winter's day as being like an "internal, alchemical,
almost catalytic core of identity-making and decision-making....the
soul of an individual" existing within the winter of our current
economic crises. Many can equate with[ Read More]
Written by eldering at The Great Turning
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By Jim Selman | Bio
Of
all the complaints and fears we hear that are associated with aging,
the number one is boredom. After a lifetime of activity and
accomplishment, it is incredible how many of us move into “elderland”
only to discover that we’re unsatisfied and bored. How can this be?
Granted that we might not be as spry as we once were and some of our
libidos are lackluster, but goodness gracious, do we really expect our
circumstances to make us happy or enthusiastic or interested in other
people and the possibilities of each and every day? [ Read More]
Written by eldering at Retirement
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I can’t remember all the words but I remember hearing a ditty once that
began, “My father in his house of logs said the world is going to the
dogs”. Today is Father’s Day, and while I am a professional and
practical optimist (no point in being a pessimist), I am embarrassed to
say that I am starting to think like this jingle. The point to the
verse is, of course, that as we get older we can easily become trapped
in a kind of negativity—comparing current events with the ‘good old
days’. This in spite of the fact that somehow life always works out
and, all in all, it gets better over time. My dad was a child and teenager during the “Great Depression” of the 1930s.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
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In the 1970s, I belonged to The World Future Society. I even toyed with
the idea of becoming a ‘futurist’. I vaguely recall that there was a
magazine on the subject and various intellectuals were trying to get
prediction raised to the status of a science. According to Wired
magazine, the Society still exists and there are people who call
themselves professional futurists, but the numbers are shrinking and
their status seems to be less than in the past—primarily because the
future is increasingly less predictable (if it ever was). Yet, why do people continue to seek answers to what will the future be?[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Fearless Aging
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By Shae Hadden | Bio
It’s so easy to get ‘comfortable’ with the circumstances of our
lives—even when they are uncomfortable or when we can see that they may
very likely lead to discomfort. It’s almost natural, sometimes even
expected, that we complain about what’s ‘not right’ or ‘not perfect’ in
our lives. But complaining (to ourselves or others) doesn’t change
anything and we’re left ‘adapting’ ourselves to living with whatever is
contributing to our discomfort.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Leadership
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By Shae Hadden | Bio
Every day this past week, I’ve been exploring the question of “What can
I do?” It’s been an interesting inquiry, with the answers varying each
day, sometimes each hour, based on the state of my physical body. I’ve found myself experiencing embarrassment at having to ask for car
service at the grocery store, frustration at not being able to
multi-task my way through my ‘usual’ amount of work, and vulnerability
at having trouble carrying a 10-pound bag from my car to the house. But
I’ve also experienced joy at regaining some flexibility, having
pain-free moments and walking in silent contemplation around my
neighborhood. Best of all, I’m learning other ways of relating to
myself, my circumstances and time.[ Read More]
Written by eldering at Learning
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I am always a little disoriented between the seasons when I travel to
Argentina or Brazil. When it is autumn in Canada, it is spring in
Buenos Aires. It is a beautiful and refreshing time of year. I am
thinking about the clichéd parallel between the seasons and the phases
of our lives—this being the autumn of my life. Yet as I travel, I can
see how fluid and changeable the seasons can be depending upon where
you are standing. This is an apt metaphor for living every moment creatively—consciously choosing a frame of mind that says each day can
be the first day of spring (if we look at that way). I wonder…[ Read More]
Written by Jim Selman at Fearless Aging
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