Friday Jun 05 2009
By Shae Hadden | Bio
I’m sitting at my desk, watching the sun set behind the mountains, listening to the city winding down at the end of a long, hot summer day. My big move is now complete: all boxes unpacked, everything put away (at least somewhere, for now), cupboards stocked, and fresh linens on the bed. Three months ago, when I chose to relocate, I had no idea it would be such a circuitous route to my new ‘home’. But now that I’m here, I’m glad for everything that showed up in my journey and for everything I had to let go of in order to arrive at this most perfect place for the next phase of my life.
For me, moving is a ‘big change’. I didn’t spend my youth moving from city to city or traveling from country to country. My life revolved within my local community and, for many years, it was about sticking with the routine of established relationships, favorite stores and familiar territory. In new situations or places, I’d gravitate to finding something I felt comfortable with and then fashioning a ‘socially acceptable’ pattern around it. My extended family does much the same, especially my elderly relatives. Change is limited when “safe” is one’s modus operandi. And moving is right up there: it forces one to change many things—from lifestyle and friends to belongings and activities.
But “living safe” leaves no room for adventure or risk-taking, for meeting new people and exploring the world, for manifesting our dreams. Living safe is not living full out. And the older I get, the more I become aware that life is to be lived full out—to wear the expensive perfume, use the fancy dishes, dare to wear the bikini, and use up those travel points before they expire. Scrimping and saving for a rainy day only begets feelings of lack and a lot of wet weather.
So here I am. In a new community, staring out over the treetops, living in a sunlit apartment for the first time in my life, meeting new people every day, finding my favorite foods in various stores in a strangely cosmopolitan neighborhood, and walking, biking and driving in areas that have only been names until now. I’ve given away my TV, unpacked all those books I’ve never had time to read, and started connecting with different groups of people for social activities.
I’ve finally ‘come home’.
PS. I think I’m developing an appetite for change….
© 2009 Shae Hadden. All rights reserved.