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Does Getting Older Mean Getting Wiser?

Tuesday Dec 11 2007

By Lauren Selman | Bio


I recently watched one of my favorite shows, "Sex in the City." This show features four protagonists that constantly prove that 30 is the new 20 and uncovers their relationships in the city of New York. In this particular episode, the older women were poignantly juxtaposed against young starlettes to emphasis they're "getting older". The plot circulated around the question about aging that Carrie posed at the top of the episode: "Does getting older mean getting wiser?"

I feel that, in the discussion of aging, the concepts of "getting older" are synonymous with "getting wiser." But is this really the case? How do we begin to define "wisdom"? I have personally met several older people who may have been on the planet longer, but I would challenge their capacity of wisdom. Is wisdom acquiring the most amount of breaths in one's body or is it the realization of consequences and experiences of one's life? Can we justify the concept of "eldering"/ "getting older" as truly becoming more wise?

I recently traveled in Thailand, where I met the oldest man I have ever seen. He may not have been the wisest, but definitely the oldest! He lived in a small hut in the rear part of a rural village in Northern Thailand. Members of the community would come and bring him food throughout the day as he sat, blind and deaf to the world. He was said to be 120 years old. But it is difficult to say how "old" he was because no one truly knew. When he was born, there wasn't someone jotting down the exact position of the big hand next to the little hand on the clock, nor someone noting down the day, month or year. As he grew up, he did not have landmark "birthday" celebrations that welcomed him to the next year of his life.

I found that during my travels in Southeast Asia, to not know one's age is a common phenomenon. Either there were no calendars or in some parts there was so much social unrest no one cared about when they were born. They did not let age define them for it was not integrated into their culture.

In the States, one can easily highlight the key questions in an introductory meeting:

  1. What do you do?
  2. How old are you?
  3. Did you go to college and where?


In the rural village in Northern Thailand, the questions were:

  1. Are you pregnant?
  2. Do you have a husband?
  3. Where is your mother?

These six questions alone show the differences in priorities.

I wonder...if we change our questions, can we change our relationship to aging? 

Written by admin at Fearless Aging
Join discussion COMMENTS [2]

Tagged with: culture eldering older wisdom wiser

Comments:

Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser...just as younger doesn't necessarily mean unwise. Wisdom is not exclusive to any particular generation, age or culture. That 120-year-old man may have some wisdom that no one else on the planet has...but we'll only find that out by getting to know him and opening up to receiving whatever his contribution might be. Just as a newborn baby has 'wisdom' that she shares simply by 'being'.

Wisdom is an assessment we make based on our culture, experiences and expectations. The question is what are we looking for when we see another person? If we change our line of inquiry from "How many years have you lived?" to "Who are you and what do you have to contribute?", then we'll have a totally different experience of each other.

BTW, the Eldering slogan "wisdom in action" does not signify that ONLY the older generation is wise...

Posted by Shae on December 11, 2007 at 01:57 PM EST #

Nor does it imply that everyone in the older generation is necessarily wise by virtue of their age.

Posted by Jim on December 11, 2007 at 01:59 PM EST #

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