By Lauren Selman | Bio

This past weekend, I was hiking with a couple of co-workers of mine in the beautiful Grand Canyon National Park. As we were walking, one woman posed the question, "Is our society changing or is it our awareness making it look worse?" I didn't understand what she meant at first, but as we continued to talk, she was speaking to the concept of perception. For example, people have been making 'at home 'drugs for a quite a long time, but now that it is known that they are making them, does it make society worse or just seem worse because we can now see it?
 
This whole questioning session got me thinking about performance, seeming and, ultimately, responsibility. We live in a world now where we are, as I see it, disconnected from our actions. Whatever happened to Newton's first law, in which every action has an equal and opposite reaction? Is our disconnection leading us to a time where we cannot react?

In an attempt to explain this, I am going to tell you a story about Suzy and Mary. Two young girls. Suzy is upset with Mary and through this story the actions and reactions adjust according to the means of communication.
 
So...

We begin, a long time ago, before computers, before televisions and way before the internet.
 
Suzy doesn't like Mary. Suzy goes to Mary's house and tells her that she doesn't like her. Then Mary feels bad and then Suzy immediately feels the impact of her actions. She sees the response of Suzy and Mary responds to Suzy's reaction. Similar to when an audience cries and the actor on stage reacts accordingly. Mary can read her audience (Suzy) and then, as an effect, be changed. Mary feels what it feels to insult and doesn't like the feeling and changes.
 
Then the time comes when Mary writes a letter to Suzy about how she doesn't like her and Suzy is left at home on her bed thinking about what she did. There is time before the reaction on Mary's part occurs because the next day Mary and Suzy can see each other at school.
 
Then the time comes where Mary writes Suzy a text message. Suzy receives it and writes back. But this time there is no face-to-face contact and there doesn't have to be. Suzy feels awful when she gets the message, but she has time on her side and can cleverly think of a witty comeback or she can control time and choose to ignore it. Mary has now gained the ability to filter her audience. She can choose what she wants to effect her.
 
Then the time comes where Mary emails Suzy, but under a different name. This time the CAPITAL letters signify meaning and Suzy is left confused and hurt. She a) doesn't know who is against her and b) can't face the person. She is disempowered and doesn't have the capacity nor the power to prompt a reaction in Mary. She is now even more removed from her aggressor and Mary is even more removed from the person she is insulting.

Then the time of myspace and facebook and other social networks emerges and Mary can PUBLICALLY insult Suzy and have all of her friends see her bullying Suzy. This, in turn, creates a group of people who are collectively agreeing with Mary's insults and there is absolutely no face-to-face connection or response.
 
These kind of dynamics are happening in this world of disconnection. We are more and more removed from the ramifications of our actions.
 
In the world of technology, a 13-year-old girl committed suicide because of a false profile that was created online. The young women who created the profile did not intend to have the woman kill herself, but we are so disconnected from our audiences, from one another, that we cannot imagine the potential impact of our actions.
 
As more and more video games, social networking sites and the like emerge, we cannot forget about one another. The other HUMAN—our audience. Only when we feel the impact of our actions on another human being and begin to restore the sacred connections of humanity will we be able to truly change.

© 2008 Lauren Selman. All rights reserved. 

Written by eldering at Learning

Tagged with: actions awareness communication connection responsibility