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Reflections on Turning 65

Monday Feb 12 2007

I guess one’s 65th birthday is a kind of milestone, though I am not sure why. Perhaps this is the line between being ‘almost 65’ and ‘approaching 70’! As far as I can tell, like most of my other significant birthdays—21, 30, and 50—they are more symbolic than anything. At 21, I could drink and vote. At 30, I reached my goal of earning as much as my age. At 50, I was officially ‘middle-aged’. This one was supposed to be the moment I ‘retired’, but the fact is I am just getting started. About the only big difference is that I am now officially on Medicare and can start to get some pay-back for all those taxes I paid (although I would prefer to not need anything in that arena). Joking aside, I love being 65 and I really am happier, healthier, more creative, more loved and (I think) more loving than at any other time in my life. I am very enthusiastic about the future and the opportunity to be alive and participating at this time in history.

But as I reflect on being 65, I wonder if I am typical or just lucky? Am I just enjoying a momentary ‘high’ that will dissipate as I journey through what most would say is the predictable decline from here to the end? The fact is that only time will tell.

I remember when I was getting out of college, the ‘message’ passed down through the culture from a host of well-meaning advisors was that the ‘fun’ times were over. It was time to get to work, be a good citizen, raise a family and basically get into the harness of the ‘work-hard-to-be-successful ethic because life is serious’ business. It didn’t look to my young eyes like getting older was going to be a lot of fun and, while there would be benefits, it was going to be hard and the best was behind me. I was told to ‘be realistic’, don’t become distracted by being too idealistic and stop looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.

I remember thinking that I liked my rose-colored glasses. And why would I want to be realistic if that meant being serious and dour? I made a very conscious decision to look at life in the context of what is possible—not what is ‘real’—and work at making my ‘rose-tinted’ possibilities into new realities. I haven’t regretted that decision for a moment. While most of my friends were settling down and ‘outgrowing’ their youthful dreams, I not only didn’t settle down, but I played hard at making those dreams come true.

I guess I am doing the same thing now. I am keeping my rose-colored glasses on and rejecting all the conventional wisdom about how it is and how I should be. I can accept aging as a phase of life that is all about slowing down, disengaging and gracefully bowing out of the game. Or I can reinvent myself and reinvent the game in ways that are appropriate to where I am today, but not limited by my circumstances or how many years I have under my belt. I don’t think this is some sort of Pollyanna positive thinking. Nor is it denial that I am getting old and will probably be dead in fewer years than I would like to admit. It is a choice—a choice about the future.

I am choosing this future—the one I see through my rose-colored lenses.

What future are you choosing?

Written by Jim Selman at Personal Empowerment
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I see the things the way you do! It's not a matter of not growing up, but it's a matter of having fun each day and doing good. The world is a harsh place for many people, so I do political work to help others and also try to enjoy each day.

Posted by Rhea on February 13, 2007 at 11:32 AM EST #

I just hit the 85 year mark Jim and it did not seem near as significant as when I hit 65. There is some meaning behind that marker. It is a sort of graduation into Late Life. And it does graduate one into the world of government benefits. That gives it substance. All the other birthday markers are just sentiment.

Posted by Pete Lustig on February 13, 2007 at 02:12 PM EST #