I’ve been feeling the pain of transitions lately. Or as my wife observed, “You seem troubled”. Perhaps not a big deal—but for someone who lives life as a perennial optimist, a bit unusual. So what’s going on?

One interpretation I have is that I’m just gearing up for what’s next. It’s a familiar indicator for me to feel restless, a bit irritable, even fearful as I come to (or beyond) the natural end of a particular phase and pause in that “white space” between saying “Goodbye” to one chapter and “Hello” to something new. I never enjoy it, but it is familiar.

As I get ready to enter my 60s in six months or so, I’ve been thinking about how I want to age.I rebel against the messages I receive from many sources to gradually “retire” from work, to begin taking it easier, to turn my attention to leisure, to consumption, to spend more time observing others on the playing field of life while I sit, with others my age, on the sidelines. In many ways I feel like I’m just getting started.

I said goodbye to my son and daughter this weekend as they left home for their last year of college. I feel very proud of who they are and how they are moving through life. At the same time, I am beginning to anticipate the next big transition for them from the somewhat protected life of college to the big world of “making a life on your own”.

My wife and I are in this long conversation about selling our family home and moving to a smaller house or even a condo somewhere. I find myself resisting the move, and even the conversation sometimes. I’m not really so attached to our neighborhood or even our town, but perhaps I’m still holding on to this phase of my life. It was in this house that we raised our kids, I sold my business and started a new career as a management consultant and an executive coach. What milestones will we pass in our next home? And when will I be ready to complete this phase and embrace what’s next?

I am committed to living my “2nd half” in a joyful, vibrant manner. But what does that mean exactly? I’m learning that it includes learning lots of new things, meeting new people, sustaining my connections with old friends, taking new risks at work and in life, and also, that it comes with some fear and anxiety. I’m reminded that courage is meaningless without risk and the fear that comes with it. So it takes courage to become older without “getting old”. It takes courage to stay fully engaged in life and to continue to take chances where you might fail. It takes courage to stay vibrant.

I’m also clear on the connection between gratitude and joy. To truly fill my heart with joy and to literally vibrate with happiness starts with a deep and practiced gratitude. The idea of gratitude as a practice is still new to me but I am beginning to get it. I now include a prayer of gratitude each day as a morning and evening ritual. It calms me, gives me some satisfaction and allows me to approach the world as a friendly place rather than the house of horrors portrayed on the news channels day after day.

My quest continues. How about yours?

Written by admin at Fearless Aging
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