 By Don Arnoudse | Bio
There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a
quickening that is translated through you into action. And because
there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And
if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be
lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine
how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other
expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep
the channel open… whether you choose to take an art class, keep a
journal, record your dreams, dance your story or live each day from
your own creative source. Above all else, keep the channel open.
—Martha Graham
I received this quote from my wonderful coach, Ann Cheng, after our
last coaching call. I had told her that my life just wasn’t working
lately. [ Read More]
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By Don Arnoudse | Bio
In his wonderful book From Age-ing to Sage-ing, Rabbi Zalman
Schachter-Shalomi notes that the Bible is lavish in its praise of
elders. ”It considers gray hair a crown of glory and wrinkles a mark of
distinction.” This really got me thinking. What if we regarded the last
part of our life—let’s just say the years after our hair goes gray—to
be the “crowning glory of our years”? Wow! What would be possible from
that perspective?[ Read More]
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By Don Arnoudse | Bio
My wife and I recently visited seacoast New Hampshire to celebrate our
wedding anniversary. After leaving historic Union Chapel, the scene of
our wedding 26 years ago, we were in a nostalgic mood as we drove into
the center of Portsmouth. As we left the car to stroll through the town
center, we heard quite a ruckus. To my surprise, the cause of all the
commotion was a crowd of white-haired people holding signs in the town
square and loudly shouting slogans in protest of the Iraq war. I was immediately transported to those days in the late ‘60s when I was
marching with my classmates in protest of the Vietnam War. We closed
down Michigan State University in the spring of 1970 and spent our time
in tents on the campus lawn engaged in intense discussions about
politics and war.
[ Read More]
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By Don ArnoudseBio
We live in a culture that has truly gone mad with “multi-tasking”. I
confess I’m guilty too. Even as I write this blog, I have my Bose
earphones on as I listen to Neil Young singing “Helpless” in his
uniquely plaintive style. OK. I’ve turned Neil off for now. At the same
time, I believe most of us crave receiving the undivided attention of
someone we care about. Attention that is completely focused on us with
no distractions. No TV, no laptop, no cell phone, no thoughts of
“What’s for dinner?”, or what I wish I had said in my last conversation
this morning, or what I need to do before I go to bed tonight.[ Read More]
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By Don ArnoudseBio
I’ve
been feeling the pain of transitions lately. Or as my wife observed,
“You seem troubled”. Perhaps not a big deal—but for someone who lives
life as a perennial optimist, a bit unusual. So what’s going on? One
interpretation I have is that I’m just gearing up for what’s next. It’s
a familiar indicator for me to feel restless, a bit irritable, even
fearful as I come to (or beyond) the natural end of a particular phase
and pause in that “white space” between saying “Goodbye” to one chapter
and “Hello” to something new. I never enjoy it, but it is familiar. As
I get ready to enter my 60s in six months or so, I’ve been thinking
about how I want to age.[ Read More]
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By Don ArnoudseBio
I read a very sad story about Richard W. Daly, a former member of the
Massachusetts House of Representatives, in the Boston Globe last week.
Under the headline “ Legislator faded away, died alone” was the report that he had been found next to his bed by his landlord. He had been dead about a week. The Globe reported:
“He
was a 32-year-old freshman legislator, impeccably dressed in a
pinstripe suit, crisp button-down shirt, and bow tie, when he strode
through the halls of the State House almost 40 years ago.... Those who
knew Daly then have been remembering that part of his life as they
prepare to bury a man who apparently left no money for his own funeral
and had no known relatives to claim his body…a virtual recluse (who had
been) living in a $130-a-week rooming house."[ Read More]
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By Don Arnoudse
Bio
For
as long as I can remember, I have been an optimistic person. I’ve
always taken great pride in my natural inclination to see a ‘silver
lining in every cloud’. ‘Making lemonade out of lemons’ was one of my
favorite clichés. Imagine my surprise when, in a recent
conversation with Ann, my personal coach, I heard her say she felt a
deep shiver of sadness while listening to me. It brought me up short. I
had been talking about turning 59 years old, how good life was right
now and, at the same time, how acutely aware I was of how fast time was
flying by. When I stopped, took a deep breath, and listened to my body,
I realized that deep down there was a pool of sadness within me. This
is an emotion I’ve kept at bay for a long time.[ Read More]
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By Don Arnoudse
Bio
My daughter, Sara, is about to turn 21. Her impending birthday has
triggered my own memories of that familiar refrain of youth…”I can’t
wait until I’m old enough to….go to school, to learn to drive, to vote,
to get a credit card, to stay out past midnight, to travel on my own,
to get my first apartment, to get my first real job, to go to night
clubs and bars, and so on and so on.”
It got me to wondering. What are the advantages of age now that I’m
staring 60 in the face? Yesterday, I was listening to Julio Olalla,
master teacher and founder of the Newfield Network. He began his
comments on some of the crises we face in the world by saying, “At my
age, I no longer choose to censor myself”. I thought, “Wow! That’s an
advantage of age. Telling the truth as I see it without concern for
others’ reactions.”[ Read More]
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By Don ArnoudseBio
I get paid, and quite handsomely, for listening and talking to people.
As a Personal and Executive Coach, I’ve engaged daily for the past six
years in the most intimate, often surprising, and always intense
dialogues with very interesting people who are dealing with high-stakes
dilemmas in their professional and personal lives. Part of my process
is to intentionally provoke them. Provoke them into thinking in
unconventional ways, into getting in touch with deep feelings they’ve
been avoiding, and coming to grips with uncomfortable realities they’ve
been deferring. And they provoke me, in turn. By surfacing issues they
haven’t discussed with anyone (in some cases, not even their spouses).
They invite me to dive into the complexities of their situations and
help simplify their choices, generate new possibilities and shine a
light on their blind spots.[ Read More]
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By Don Arnoudse
Bio
My
20 year-old daughter, Sara, was in full voice, speaking rapidly with
both tension and inspiration. “Dad, there are so many things I want to
do. I’m going to Spain in the fall, but I wish I were staying on campus
[at the University of New Hampshire] so I can meet the presidential
candidates before the primary. I don’t know at all where I’m going to
live next spring. This summer, I’m interested in an internship in
Washington, DC, but people tell me it’s a great time to be on campus.
There’s another overnight leadership workshop next weekend, but I’m
just not sure if I want to go again. I might want to take an extra
semester before I graduate because there are so many courses I want to
take and I’m running out of time. I feel like I should get a job and
make some money, but I’m not sure how I would fit it all in. Everything
is just so up in the air!”[ Read More]
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Don and I are buddies in a group
of nine men who get together 3 times a year to share our experience of
'growing older' and our journey into the 2nd half. It is such a
privilege to have men friends that are open and caring and nurturing of
each other. He is a certified professional coach, specializing in
helping corporate executives implement transitions in their careers and
lives. The 2nd Half,
his personal and executive coaching business, is dedicated to select
clients who are committed to leading powerfully and making a
significant contribution. Don has twice served on the planning
committee of the Executive Coaching Summit, an invitation-only think
tank of 100 top executive coaches from across the globe. The thing I
love most about Don is his genuine affection and authentic caring for
people of all ages.[ Read More]
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