All posts by Don Arnoudse

What if We Really Paid Attention?

By Don Arnoudse
Bio

We live in a culture that has truly gone mad with “multi-tasking”. I confess I’m guilty too. Even as I write this blog, I have my Bose earphones on as I listen to Neil Young singing “Helpless” in his uniquely plaintive style. OK. I’ve turned Neil off for now. At the same time, I believe most of us crave receiving the undivided attention of someone we care about. Attention that is completely focused on us with no distractions. No TV, no laptop, no cell phone, no thoughts of “What’s for dinner?”, or what I wish I had said in my last conversation this morning, or what I need to do before I go to bed tonight.

Just me completely present, wide awake, and paying attention to you. Attention that is full of interest in you, infused with compassion, alive with good humor, energized by the mere fact of our being together and having this conversation. Attention that comes with no judgment about good or bad, right or wrong, do I agree or disagree. Just pure mindfulness of this precious moment together.

When was the last time you experienced this with someone? When was the last time that you

read more

The Quest for Joyful, Vibrant Aging

By Don Arnoudse
Bio

I’ve been feeling the pain of transitions lately. Or as my wife observed, “You seem troubled”. Perhaps not a big deal—but for someone who lives life as a perennial optimist, a bit unusual. So what’s going on?

One
interpretation I have is that I’m just gearing up for what’s next. It’s
a familiar indicator for me to feel restless, a bit irritable, even
fearful as I come to (or beyond) the natural end of a particular phase
and pause in that “white space” between saying “Goodbye” to one chapter
and “Hello” to something new. I never enjoy it, but it is familiar.

As I get ready to enter my 60s in six months or so, I’ve been thinking about how I want to age

read more