A friend was asking me why I’m so keen to change our
conversation about aging—to transform the culture of aging from one of
decline to one of possibility. One answer is self-interest, insofar as
I am growing older and experiencing more and more of the symptoms of a
culture that objectifies me and wants me to follow its prescription for
“growing old gracefully” (which means ‘slow down’, step aside, play
golf, enjoy my grandchildren, be
Monthly Archives: November 2006
Identity
During my business lifetime, I have had many careers—everything
from school secretary, waitress and restaurant owner to author, legal
secretary and promotion director. I was also a realtor, both in Canada
and the United States. When I retired from the real estate profession
after more than 20 years, butterflies started flying around in my
stomach. Instead of giving in to my fears, I said, “Stop. Listen up,
self. I have worked all
Labels & Gender
Most of the attempts to categorize people who are older (“temporally
challenged”, seniors, golden oldies and so forth) are usually attempts
to find a label to make a state or condition that most people relate to
as ‘negative’ seem nicer. Ronni Bennett has some interesting thoughts about language
and how our labels often reveal a lot about how we observe and relate
to others and the world in general. I agree with her that most of it is
nonsense, and I like the term Elder.
When
talk
No More Bad Days
I was watching a Larry King interview the other night in which he
was speaking with a bunch of positive-thinking gurus about their
beliefs and theories. One of the questions he asked was, “Do you have
any bad days”? Most of them said they don’t have bad days, and a couple
said that they still have ‘bumps’ in the road but recover quickly. I
got to thinking about my own life and concluded that I too can claim
that I don’t have bad days, although some are more challenging than
others.
How
Age Discrimination I
Age discrimination is probably one of the last forms of negative
stereotyping left—perhaps even the subtlest. It wasn’t so long ago that
color, sexual orientation and gender were in the spotlight. Now, as 70
million of us are becoming the dominant demographic force in the world,
we can begin to see our culture’s bias toward age appearing as overt
forms of discrimination.
Even
corporations that are sensitive to ‘diversity’ are often biased against
older workers in their hiring,
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving with family is a tradition I love a lot. It’s not the
turkey and dressing so much as the chance to take a moment and be
grateful for all that we have. I have grown over the years in how I
think about gratitude—originally I thought it was about taking an
inventory of ‘things’ I have to be grateful for, like listing “Thank
you’s” when saying Grace. Later I came to think of gratitude as more of
a ‘selfless’ expression of appreciation
The Mirror of Old
By Shae Hadden
Bio
I’m fascinated by how people affix meaning to language, and the
limitless interpretations they draw from words. ‘Old’, for example,
triggers different responses among my friends. And their
interpretations show me how they feel about growing older. It’s not
always a happy image…
For
the past few months, I’ve been meeting new people and they, for some
inexplicable reason, believe me to be younger than I actually am.
Flattering,
Victory over OJ Day
Today they announced that the OJ confession book won’t be published
and he won’t get the limelight on Fox Television. This is a great
example of the kind of change that can come about when enough people
‘take on’ the system or the culture and take a stand. It is to Rupert
Murdoch’s credit that he was listening.
I
think it is important, however, to take note that this doesn’t have to
be a one-time, one-event happening. I have been suggesting that if
enough of us take
An Elder’s View
An essay was recently sent to me about the current quagmire in Iraq
that drew parallels between the current conflict and WWII. I am 100% in
agreement with the author’s conclusion that America and our people
fought a righteous war against Hitler and the Japanese. I have nothing
but respect and gratitude for the sacrifices and duty of my parents and
their generation. I agree with the author’s idea that the Islamic
fundamentalist Jihadists are committed to
One Day at a Time
As long as I can remember, people have been teaching me to relax,
enjoy the moment, smell the roses and just take it easy—to live life
one day at a time. This wisdom is at the center of Alcoholic Anonymous’
prescription for living a sober and sane life. I wonder why it is so
difficult—even rare—to live in the moment and why I find it easier to
do so as I grow older?
I
suppose, when we are younger, we are more goal-oriented and don’t have
a lot of history under our belt. As